Excess

 Exccess is what I feel

I have excess stuff in my house but not organized.

it's serious hoarding disorganization

I'm just living day to day where someone on the outside looking in sees some composure but i'm screaming on the inside. 

I never knew what it meant to mean silence is deafening, it's when the screams get so loud and constant it's a white noise, a paradox of what you hear and can't hear

am I mentally Ill? I don't know. My sleep suffers but it's due to anxiety 

the compulsive buying is running towards something which I want to be but I am not. 

I feel very disorganized, i think Indeed I need a week or a few days off for mental health

I think it's stressful to think about my husband his health and his mental health and about his exams. 

I have not been caring for myself as my daughter said to me, mom you smell. I need to go to to the gym and shower daily that's my goal now inshAllah and have nice scented creams. 

My gym time, my  staying in Wudu 

how about going through the children's clothes, and endless pile of returnswuran time with my family,

better eating, better feeling, surrounding with positivityself care and care for patients. getting a grip on finances,

being kind and speaking to my daughter, and not hurting her, showing love

using quiet and creativity, 

creating beauty within and bringing it out. 

breathing and destressing. not worrying